


Zombies on the Brain

by killerweasel



Category: Good Omens (TV Series)
Genre: M/M, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 11:28:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19945429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel
Summary: Crowley knows far too much about zombies.





	Zombies on the Brain

Title: Zombies on the Brain  
Fandom: Good Omens (TV Series)  
Characters: Crowley/Aziraphale, assorted  
Word Count: 800  
Rating: G  
A/N: After Episode 6.  
Summary: Crowley knows far too much about zombies.

“I don’t understand, dear. What do you mean there are multiple types of zombie movies? Aren’t they all about zombies?” Aziraphale took another large swallow of wine direct from his bottle. “I’m either too drunk or not drunk enough for this.”

Crowley started to say something, paused, and then got a look in his eyes Aziraphale dreaded. “I’ll be right back, angel.”

Sighing, Aziraphale debated on sobering up. This entire thing was his own fault. He never should have started them down a rabbit hole involving film genres. Animation, the hand drawn against computer generated, had led to action films, which had led to cult classics, which had then spiraled into a discussion about horror films, specifically ones about the undead. The angel wasn’t really a fan of horror movies. There was too much blood, death, and gore for his liking. However, he did like watching them with Crowley, who knew a ridiculous amount of trivia or just plain weird facts. The demon usually had his own commentary running during whatever they watched, some of which Aziraphale found highly amusing.

“Okay, this should help explain everything.” Crowley came back into the room, stumbling slightly over his own feet, before plopping an enormous pile of DVDs on the floor. “Get down here with me so I can show you properly.”

“I can see perfectly well from the couch. I don’t need to get on the...” Aziraphale trailed off when Crowley removed his sunglasses. Now he knew the demon was completely invested in whatever rant was about to occur. “Fine, but I’m bringing my wine with me.” He wobbled a few times getting up from the couch, but managed to sit on the floor next to Crowley. “Show me.”

“Right. Ngh... Where was I?” He glanced over at Aziraphale.

“Not all zombie films are created equal?”

“Exactly!” Clapping his hands, Crowley started to sort the boxes into piles, muttering under his breath while he sorted things. “All right. So we’re going to start by dividing everything into two groups. Here we have the undead and over here we have infected people.” He gestured wildly to the piles. “Infected can be the result of a bunch of things, but they are all very much alive. Undead... well, they’re walking corpses.”

“I’m with you so far, I think.” Aziraphale went to take another drink, but Crowley grabbed the bottle out of his hand. The demon took a few swallows before handing it back. “Hey! Get your own bottle.”

“It’s too far away. Yours is right here.” Crowley grinned. “Infected, but alive would include things like ‘Zombieland’, ‘Pontypool’, ‘The Devil’s Playground’, and ‘28 Days Later’.”

The angel nodded like he knew exactly what Crowley was talking about. He was fairly certain they’d watched a couple of those films together at some point. “What about undead?”

“I was getting to that.” He blinked a few times. “‘Night of the Living Dead’, ‘Return of the Living Dead’, ‘Shaun of the Dead’ would all fit in the other group. There are even sub-genres of zombie films like the ones involving Nazis. You’d be surprised how many of those are floating around out there.” Crowley jumped to his feet and began to pace back and forth in front of the television. “There’s one thing I do not understand about some of these films.”

“And that is?”

“Turbo zombies.” Crowley made a face. “They don’t make sense!”

“Crowley, you are trying to put logic into films about zombies.” Aziraphale tilted his bottle, shaking the last few drops of wine into his mouth. “I have noticed the films aren’t really about the zombies. Most of them seem to be about how humans will try to survive. They either band together to fight a common enemy or they work on destroying one another.”

“No, you don’t get it.” The demon tried to do a dramatic gesture, lost his balance, and landed in a heap on the floor. “Ugh. What I mean is, turbo zombies, the ones where they move ridiculously fast, make sense if they are infected people. They’ve got adrenalin and all that other human crap. If they were already dead, they would tear themselves apart moving that fast.”

“Oh.” Aziraphale thought about it for a moment. “You know, you’re right.”

“I know I’m right!” He somehow managed to look triumphant while still in a heap. “So now what?”

“Did you actually want to watch any of those movies you’ve scattered all over the place?”

“You pick. I’m too drunk and sobering up would take more effort than I want to use right now.” It took him several attempts, but he finally managed to sit up. “Go for it, angel.”

Aziraphale grabbed the nearest DVD case. “How about this one? She looks pretty.”

“That one?” Crowley laughed. “‘Zombie Strippers’ it is.”

**Author's Note:**

> Here's Crowley's list of his Top Ten Favorite Zombie Movies:  
> 1\. Night of the Living Dead  
> 2\. Return of the Living Dead  
> 3\. Shaun of the Dead  
> 4\. Dawn of the Dead (1978)  
> 5\. Pontypool  
> 6\. Dance of the Dead  
> 7\. Train to Busan  
> 8\. 28 Days Later  
> 9\. Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island  
> 10\. The Girl With All the Gifts


End file.
